Impermanence…

Click… click.. click..
The time always clicks!!! Why can’t it stop??? I wish it could stop!!! Now I step closer to the thrilling period (read: EXAMS)… This semester I really hafta work harder!! Much harder. Some reasons behind: worse performance (compared with previous ones), bad exam timetable, more readings to do, more materials to study, pressure from the honour program ( I have to get high mark to get the honour!), et cetera…
From this moment on, I think the library is likely to be my 2nd home… sometimes I hate it cos a lot of other things I also wanna do… like movie, for example. I havent been to movies for ages cos this uni workloads.. They are too heavy (am I exaggerating? hehe well yes I am) LOL… The true reason is not dat though.. Its juz becos the good ones always come out at the wrong times. Whenever Im free and relaxed, the movie list is not ‘tempting’… LOL but when my fav movies out I got no time for em!! Poor me… =(
Now, I need someone to accompany me to spend times in the library, juz to ‘push’ me to study.. heheh otherwise, if Im alone, I will end up wandering around the Randwick (close to my library) and spend time window-shopping heheh (Even they are not good at all, but still your eyes are not on the boring books) heheheh
Sigh… Pretty much things to do in a very short time.. Hopefully I can pass all of these gratefully… Sadhu.. Sadhu… Sadhu… =)

(Ups.. the pic was not from me.. hehe I copied it from the url: http://reslife.missouri.edu/newsletter/Winter04VolII/time.png)

Why do we people feel lonely? We’re all always surrounded by people, heaps of people indeed. But still, the heart’s trapped with the loneliness. Why? Do we tend to ask for more? Are we always hungry of ‘love’ and ‘care’? Why this happens?
I think, it may due to the craving inside the heart.. the wanting that never ends… Sometimes I wonder, why attached people (the one who has a partner already) can feel lonely. Logically, they shouldnt be, cos they are loved by the person they love too. Sometimes, there are some other external condition that can trigger this to happen, like distance for instance. Loneliness as I reckon mostly happen for those who are in long-d relationship. And somehow this loneliness can break the relationship itself. The person starts look for other ‘attention’ from someone who is nearby, in the other word, affair happens. So.. can I say that the person is selfish? Or is it a part of the nature of human? Hmmm so confusing, indeed…
But for sure, I prefer that couples should be faithful to each other… even the loneliness comes to strike. I have principle of "a mirror principle" (i name it lol huahuahu). What it means is that you have to treat someone as what you want them to treat you.

Hmmm I once read that lack of sleep can trigger obesity. I think its quite true.. since I feel that if I stayed up late, Im gonna overeat the next day. =( Why it happens so? Hmm nobody can answer it for 100%… I forgot what the article said about the reasons though.. But I think it could be dealt with hormones and stuff…If you dont have enuf sleep, your body regulation might ‘change’ a bit.. cos your body ‘works’ during the rest time… And if the rest time is not long enuf, the ‘works’ may be disrupted. And I think it may play a role in the eating stuff as well…
Now, I want to comment on the exam timetable of mine! It’s sux!! I have 4 papers in a row! imagine, all of each subject’s materials are huge! They can be hundred sth pages… hix hix… =( Poor me… but i cant complain though, cos it wont change anything… =( Too bad.. so I only can study hard from now on, try to chop a bit of the materials by stuvac… =) Jia Yo for me!! Gambate!

What is your dream of life? Is it okay for humans to dream? Well, if you ask me what my dream is.. I might say nothing.. Dunno.. sometimes I confuse myself.. why dont I have a ‘desire’ or ‘dream’ in my life? What am I after in this life? Sometimes, I just feel that my life is so neutral…  and can be said boring… =/
A fren of mine, she has a very ‘beautiful’ dream. She has a passion on fashions, and she wants to deal with fashions in the future (as her work; despite the science degree she is working on at the moment). She asked me many times what I am gonna do in the future. But why this brain stuck? I cant answer with a very detailed one like hers. I didnt even think about it before!
Well… indeed I once had a dream (which now I find it unrealistic; that is why I woke up!). I once had a will to find a medicine for the uncured diseases (like AIDS or cancer). But after I enter the uni life, and study about science… it opened up my eyes. It’s impossible for me to do so. I realise that I’m not blessed with the great brain (which gonna limit my research thingy later on) and another more important reason: morality. If you are into a research (esp. dealt with pple health - aka medicine), surely you need to do trials, first on animals, later on will be on humans (there will be stages on this stuff). I just cant do that! I mean, I cant ‘harm’ the animals. This surely will inhibit the research.. So yeah, I decided not to dream bout it anymore.
Now.. about my future. Why cant I say a word about it? Well.. it just becos I dont want to feel sad or disappointed later on. I just want to live the present moments. If I set an organised plan for my future, and somehow it wont work later on… I must feel disappointed. Indeed, pple say dream will motivate you to success. But frankly, I still dunno where my road gonna lead me… (I still cant figure out what I really wanna do in the future.. maybe im sort of looking for direction at the moment…)
Maybe… time will tell… surely, time will tell everything!