Impermanence…

Only slept for 4 hours today.. it may be less though, cos woke up before the dawn to go to the bathroom, then couldnt enter the dreamworld anymore =(
Weirdly, waking up this morning, I was overwhelmed with sadness. Its quite intensed though, lingered till lunch time! half of my day was sooo blue. The problem here is that i DUNNO what’s the reason I felt that way. Weird huh? Well, I think I have to blame the unbalanced hormone in my body, u know, PMS pals.. haha guess, only gals understand this… =P
But true, I didnt like that feeling at all!! I was sooo sad till wanted to cry! Frankly, I did drop a tear hoho (sneaked to the bathroom to drop a tear hehe). Yet, I could change my mood so easily. After crying, then I tried to think more positive, and it worked!!! Seriously, after that my mood was lifted ^^

It showed me that the power of mind was so strong hehehe… suddenly could twist my mood.. well the change might also influenced by my fluctuating hormone levels..

o yah, one good news for international students in syd. We all probably can get the same right as the local students in terms of concessions on transport!! Yupeee… check this link out http://www.unsw.edu.au/news/pad/articles/2006/mar/Travel_concs.html

Yesterday, my cousin told me that they intended to sell the apartment we are living in after she’s back for good.. well, i guess, i have to find a new unit later on, then a good sharemate.. ahaha so guys, if you have any idea any room available during mid-year, let me know ya… hoho

Couple of days ago, i had a conversation with my friend. According to him (i’d better say not his name, hehe, confidentiality issue ), which he referred to his friend, love is 50% feeling + 50% communication. So, according to this theory, love wouldnt work out without communication. The question here is why?

Why communication plays a big role in this? Love is not a mere feeling thing then… If we put scientific view, then you are gonna argue about adrenaline and stuff. All the neurotransmitters in your brain tells you how you feel and think. But why can these messenger wear off over time? Why is the infective dose increasing? Why dont u feel any glittering sensation anymore with time goes by? Hmmm interesting and intriguing.

Then, why communication can manage to keep this love feeling on track? I think, all of this thing is a complex. Complexity of body and mind. Your brain can tell you how you feel and think, but still there is other part plays a role, well let’s say it psychologics. Hmm.. communication, I think, can assure yourself that the person exists and real, not merely in your mind. That you can share a mutual ‘life: stories, jokes, etc’.

Oh well, i still cant answer this gap… I need a superbrain and a whole lot of experience to fill it… Let time do it… ^^

kay then.. gotta off for work… Love is everywhere, dude!! ^^

I chose this color to represent what I feel now.. My friend is mad at me at the moment… dunno for sure what’s her perspective to be really mad at me. Dont get her.. Dont see a point that its such a big deal to be angry with.

Let me jot down my point here. Well, me and the galz planned to have a dinner tonight at a ‘new’ korean rest. All have been informed that its gonna be dinner. But a couple of days before the date, my friend told me that she’s gonna work at tonight.. so I think its better to swap to lunch instead, cos im afraid if we postpone this, we wouldnt have a chance. Uni has been busy starting up next week, for everyone. So for the sake of catching up thingy, I set it as a lunch.

Yet, this problem happened. I really forgot to tell her… seriously, neva eva did i want her to be excluded. Bad for me and her, she had set a plan with her bf during the lunch time.. Well, a part of that is my fault though, cos didnt inform her earlier. But seriously, people DO MAKE MISTAKE sometimes, not excluded me. She is mad at me cos of this (or maybe other reasons? well hell, i have no idea) I can see why she is mad at me on this matter, she also really wants to join us.. I know its quite hard for us to gather all and have a good chit chat. Yet, if she really wants to join us, then simply cancel the date with her bf. I think her bf would be able to understand (if he is understandable person though, which I have no idea, cos I can say I hardly know him). Well, its just a choice of her actually. And another point that I think she shouldnt be angry, is that we can set another day to have the same thing again, to eat together at the same rest if she wants… its not a big deal to have another meal at the same place, i think

Yet again, what I think wouldnt be accepted by others. People do have different opinions. So does she. She might not think the same way as I do.. so yeah… cant really blame her if she is angry at me. But I just think its ridiculuos… Hmm nevertheless, please forgive me, friend…

I sometimes think that I am naive… quite easily think that everyone has a positvie motive behind their actioin, especially if it ‘looks good’. Sometimes, I just simply think that they act with pure kindness, with no other plot. But in reality its not the truth… people tend to lie. To lie to get what they aim, to lie to seal what they want others to know, etc.

But the thing is, there are also some people do things with no other motives. So.. how can we see the difference? A good liar, just like an oscar winner actor, would make us hard to see his motives.

Facing this matter makes me question people’s kindness… Is it pure or not? But by doing so, I make my day gloomy, by thinking a lot, which might not be true. That is why, I tend to be naive. Thinking that what they show is their true colors, well which is in fact is not.

Is this life purely black of white? I believe not. It must have some grey shade…

Bottom line: I dont want (and try) to simply trust new people, have to get to know the persons to judge their actions… ^^

CRASH

I just finished watching this movie yesterday. I like it!! It deserves the Oscar! ^^ This movie sort of reveals what really happens in the society. Despite in this multiculturism society, we cant simply close our eyes that there is no racists around… It is sad to know that racists are everywhere, realise it or not…

This movie I think is a bit ironic, especially at the end of the stories. At beginning, he is so damn descriminative, but at the end, becos of the ‘problem’ he’s caused due to his racism, he changed his perspective on different skin color people, and vice versa….

Moreover, I like the plot of this movie. Its like ‘Love Actually’, they have different ’separated’ scenes, but eventually they all link together… Nice plot!

Bottom line: This movie is a must watch movie!

This week there is a mobile red cross in my Uni… Too bad for me, wanted to give out my blood, but apparently my Hb level was too low (113… the minimum range should be 120)… I only need another 7!! Geez!!!

Too bad, I guess I should wait for another 3 months so I can be eligible to donate mine… Actually I really wanted to donate!! I have been deferred for 2 times now!!! I think I really have to heal my anemia seriously!! Well, I do though, Im on Fe supplement… indeed my Hb level was increased, but not yet to the normal limit…. Maybe in another 3 months, I would be out of this anemia cicle!!