Impermanence…

On Sat night, I worked on this dinner, a fundraising dinner for McD’s House Charities. Well, the dinner was easy, my friends and I were looking after 4 tables, one of them is VIP. Normally the guesses on fundraising dinner are the mid-to-upper class ppl. So yeah, you’d expect that they can behave likewise. Hmm… interestingly, on that dinner, guess who are sitting next to the table Im looking after? hehe Surprise, surprise: they are the OZ Idol finalists. 10 of them, yep. And fyi, i did serve the cutest guy: Dean!! ahaha He is indeed cute. A lot of ppl asked for their autographs. Too bad, I couldnt be one of them. hahaha. Well, its not allowed since I was working, fair enuf.

10 of them went on stage to sing a song. Frankly speaking, I wasnt impressed at all, except for Jessica, she indeed has a great voice. I love her voice! The rest of them, well, just okay. Their voices are not really diva-type-of voice. Hmm maybe, cos they are just ‘green’ (well, cant really say tat too tho, since they have been in the competition for months). But, ey… they do improve!

Another great thing on that dinner was Guy Sebastian. He sang couple of songs, perhaps five? Hmm din count though. I reckon there are some of his songs that I wasnt familiar with, they might be his latest songs. Cos he is abt to release his next album. Hmm nice songs, indeed.

Yesterday I watched American Idol episode 9 and 10… Geez…….. love all of em!!!! It is a tough competition, indeed! My goodness, their voices are too good. Far way better than OZ idol. After watching American Idol, I dun really feel like watching OZ idol anymore sorry… haha

O yeah, yesterday I worked on an exhibition, looking after a coffee station. It was quite relaxed job. There is a guy who came for many times at my coffee station. He told me that he has come for 7 or 8 times. hahaha. He said he had a hard day, cos had to be there from 8 to 6. Yet today is gonna be worse for him since its not finished at 6, instead at 8. LOL hahahaha… Funny guy and nice! Its quite fun though sometimes when I work and can have a chit chat with the customers. It happened few times, and I kinda enjoy it! (maybe Im also addicted to it?) hahahah
Well, not every customer is nice to talk to, cos there are also some that snobbish, see you low, that kinda personality and i dun really like em. Well…. no comment… hahaha

Today, will work again on the same function, but now behind the cafe, not exhibition. I might be able to bump into him and others and had a good talk again… well, who knows!
Have a good day everyone!

I really cant focus on my study. A lot of stuff in my tiny head!! Too many to cope now. sigh.

First: my future thing. I havent lodged my application yet, but have decided to lodge to Syd U for Dietetics course. I have asked my dad though about this, and he said: up to you, if you want to do it, go for it. Yet on the other hand, my cousin told me that you know, business aint easy now, bla bla… dunno if its true or not… For sure, I feel sad for my dad, he is quite old now, I shudnt get money from him, I mean, Im old enuf to earn on my own. Just dont want to burden him any more… sigh.. yet I cant pay the fee alone… my savings are not enuf! Even to pay half of semester, it wont be enuf!! hahahaha…. Almost though… but not yet! Crap… hahaha
The thing is, its uneasy for me to ask abt family financial situation, well you know, Asian culture. Its sorta not the child’s business. Its kinda not polite to ask this kinda stuff (well, at least on my opinion)… but I want to know if my dad would struggle on the financial thing just becos of my course fee… I concern of him, esp his health, dont want him to work too hard…

Second: Today I kinda feel a bit sad, for a reason: the ‘past’ coming back to my mind. It was indeed sweet yet sad. Cant tell you what it is though. I might feel this way cos I might havent really let go of the past? Yeah… Im still grasping on it…. poor me….

Third: I miss everyone!!! Oh dear, dear! What happened to me today? Gosh… focus, focus!!

Yesterday, 14 Sept was my bro’s childhood friend’s bday… Felt sad though…. He is also my childhood friend (since whoever my bro’s friends were also mine hehehe… we were so close indeed). My friend was ‘lost’ actually… Well, it was kinda a sad story. I cant recall when the incidence happened. Guess its couple of months ago… I rememberred, my dad told me thru a sms, a shocking one actually! Since the ferry he was taking was drawn!! The ferry was hit by a squall, kinda rare condition though. Indeed, Indonesian oceans are kinda mighty to conquer, yet this kinda incidents are happened once in a while. Sadly, he wasnt found by the rescue team … Actually, they did find a guy whose hair and height are same with his for next couple of days (reckon it was about 4-5 days afterwards). It was really really hard for the rescue team to find the missing passengers, since the ocean was still full of rage. ^sigh^

Yet, when my friend’s sista came to identify the deceased, she didnt recognise him as her brother. Simple reason actually: the deceased didnt have a tattoo on his hand! I dont find this reason is convincing… Imagine, the body was in water for days!! And by the time they found him, the body has already ballooned!! The cells in the body absorbed too much water and made it swell hugely! So the skin is stretched!! And it makes you hard to see the tattoo… even though its permanent. Of course the skin has lost the elasticity to show the tats… Oh dear, dear…. I feel hopeless that he is still on this earth….. My faith that he is still alive is 0.1% Only a miracle that can make him stay alive…. Which I hope it will happen!

This guy is actually a nice guy, indeed. He is the only son in the family… Oh.. can imagine how sad his mom was! My mom told me that his mom lost her appetite and looked so gloomy… It actually reminded me of my auntie, the time when she also lost her son (my cousin) and his whole family. I was so sad too that moment! I was in Sydney, and actually wanted to fly back to console the mourning families! But, life must go on! Nothing such is permanent, so is life! Life is so fragile, we wouldnt know when someone will leave us, when we are going to leave our beloved ones.

I try to contemplate everyday and to remind myself not to attached to anything, since everything is impermanent. I said try, which means that Im still attached to things in this world. Everything must come in steps, cant come in a click. So yeah, I believe that slowly can I get rid of the attachment…

Well, happy belated bday, Lex… wherever you are now…. May you be happy and free from suffering….

Oh… My eyes are so tired!!! Been looking at short distance for long period of time!! Too much accomodation of my retina! No good, ey!! But what can I do? I have to do so… Worse, my light deteriorates it…. since I reckon fluorescent lights are not good for eyes, yet I need the light! haha Dilemma, uh?

These couples of days, I reckon there is something wrong with our MSN msger… Dunno what it is exactly. My comp and my housemates’ cant log in to MSN msger… Weird, ey! Its so annoying… Well, dont really bother about it too much lately since Im quite glad it happens cos I can focus more on my study… Pretty slacking on that one… Have a test on Wed… Wish me all the best, pals!

Been thinking (on a my way home back from work) today. I realise that everything is like a coin. There is always another side of it. For example, in happiness you also can find sadness (Suffering), in beauty you also can find ugliness. Dry with wet; bright with darkness; love with hatred. Do you realise that? Well, hard for me to explain in word. What I try to say is that there is no such permanence. Everything is changing, every split second. Can you name a permanent phenomenon? Mm possibly nothing, I reckon. Every second things change. The water on a surface will evaporate all the time, which will eventually make the surface dry. Its the law of nature…

Btw the weather of Sydney in this week was soo ‘bad’. It was windy and pouring!! Hmm lucky now its not so windy anymore…. Hope the sun will come out in the next couple of days… Miss the sun shine!! Like it dry, not wet like now.

Kay then… gotta go now… need to focus back to my study…

Falling in love….
I wonder…. sometimes people are too extreme on this matter. I dont get how guys can fall for girls even they hardly know the girls!! I know few guys like that. They could be ‘crazy’ on someone even they hardly communicate and know each other!! They simply ‘fall in love in the first sight’… I doubt that kinda feeling. How could you be so sure that you REALLY love this person without knowing the personality yet? I call it a blind love. Love without wisdom. You simply like the ‘phyisical’ thing of the person. Physical things are so impermanent, even more prone to changes than the inner part (ie, personality). Ponder.. ponder….

Guys…. can u fall in love in the first sight? (I have to emphasize, LOVE, not crush!) I believe that you can be into someone on a first sight, yet cant fall in love at the same time. Cos love comes with understanding and wisdom. Mmm… agree?

What a day today!!! I have some reasons for that….
There is a weird thing happened today. This arvo, when I was at QVB and passed by a Darell Lea shop, my old friend (Paolo) went cross in my mind since he used to work at Darell Lea (not QVB’s branch, yet other plc, cant remember the name of the street, is it Pitt St? hahaha well for sure, I can locate where it is, but cant recall the name of the street). The funny thing was that he called me just after a milliseconds I thought of him!!! Wahhh I was sooo surprised. At first, I only got his missed call, and since I lost my mobile so thus I lost his number, it means that I din know who called me. Then I called back, and when I found out it was him, I was sooo surprised!! What coincident, ey!!! haha So nice catching up again with him… been quite long not seeing him btw… I reckon its more than 6 months already… Hmm time to catch up, my friend!! Yep, actually I did ask him to play tennis together, yet the ‘plan’ hasnt been implemented til now. That is why he called me… lol hahahah good idea!! Cos when I thought of him, I was thinking to send him an email after getting home to ask his number… now i dont need to do so, since Ive got his already…

Second thing, I met a nice Indian colleage today. We had a short chat. He is a nice guy, I reckon. He LOVES his country so much! Neva meet such a guy before…. seriously, someone who’s really in love his country. Interesting, indeed…. More interestingly, he memorises the map of his country (the shapes, the division of its states, etc)… Can see that he masters his geographics at school… Hehehe…. Actually, he drew his India country on a serviette with its state divisions… lol haha

Today is also a Msian Festival Day. It was at Darling Harbour. I stopped there before heading for work. ^^ The venue was just in front of my working place…. It was okay, actually. I only went there to have a look and chatted with my Msian friend (Lim) and Indo friend (Mr. I.G.). We had lots of fun though… teasing one another… hehe funny conversation!!!

Kay then… wanna continue some other time… want to shower and hit my sack… Good night

I think I should just attach a pic that show clearly about the translucent ball i said on my previous entry… hehe so you guys might notice it